I am writing this last "personal" post from the Ronald McDonald House where I am spending the night alone again tonight. Jay, Jeni and Jude are once again at the Le BonHeur hospital tonight in order for Jude to be observed. He was displaying similar symptoms as before with his head leaning forward chin to chest. His eyes were a little swollen and he did not seem to be responding as quickly as he had been. His radiation was done today at 4pm at St. Jude, so they weren't sure if his lethargy was caused by that. Jude also had mentioned that his tummy hurt when he laid his head back, so Jeni called the doctor and they were advised to bring him in. So, now he is being observed overnight. I can't wait to hear how this all goes tomorrow! I hope that his shunt is okay and there are no problems. That is a concern after it is put in. There always is the potential for malfunctioning. Jay and Jeni are always going to have to be aware of signs to look for so this can be addressed right away.
I am very, very sad tonight since I had to say goodbye in the Emergency Room. My flight is early in the morning and I had to come get my things together. This is the most I have cried since I have been here. I think the emotion of it all has come together in one sweep. I did not want to let go of Jeni when I was saying goodbye. It is extremely difficult. I can't imagine what she (and Jay too for that matter) is going through. I am a mother too...and I hurt when my children hurt. Jeni and Jay watch as their child has to go through all of these procedures and tests. They have to try to explain to Jude all that is going on and what is being done to him. (He likes to know every detail of every procedure.) It broke my heart to say goodbye to little Jude too. So helpless. I am very happy that I was able to come here. It is an experience I will never forget. I am not sure if I will even be able to sleep tonight actually. I can't wait to see my family though and hug and kiss them all....appreciating life and love. My heart is overflowing with love and concern and so are my eyes....with tears.
